So I wrote a [blog post](http://wrightaprilm.github.io/posts/lonely.html) that went a little bit viral the other day. And a lot of people have asked in the past couple days what can be done to improve the atmosphere at programming meetings. I've been chewing on that pretty substantially.
I've had a lot of good discussions over the past couple days (help yourself to warm fuzzies here). Reader bioatmosphere made a very good point in the comments, pulled out below:
The burden to fix things shouldn't be on you just because you're experiencing them
She's right, of course. And that reminded me of this post by Cate Huston, which closes with a section called "Changing the Conversation". I'll copy the crucial bit (do read the whole thing, though) below:
Are you doing meaningful work? Do you feel appreciated? Do you feel respected?
And I'm going to tack on one more:
Do you feel like you're part of something?
Because I think that's what really got me: I felt like I was part of something, then I didn't. It's not just being snubbed that hurts, it's a sense of loss of a community I kinda thought I fit with. Since I have some ears bent towards me for a bit: People who feel integrated in communities and happy at meetings, what about it? What about these communities and meetings that makes you feel appreciated? Or respected? Or part of something? And what could you do to help someone else feel that? Get at me via whatever channel preferred. If you'd like to be anonymous, my email is on my About Me page, feel free to contact me that way.